Crazy Jokes

Crazy Jokes – Fill blank with YES/NO

  1. …, I am not mentally fit!
  2. …, I have no brain!
  3. …, I have no commonsense!
  4. …, I am mad!Crazy Jokes

Crazy Jokes – I know 10 facts about you:

Fact 1: You are reading this.
Fact 2: You can’t say the letter ‘m’ without touching your lips.
Fact 3: You just tried it.
Fact 4: You’re smiling.
Fact 6: You’re smiling or laughing again.
Fact 7: You didn’t notice I missed fact 5.
Fact 8: You just checked it.
Fact 9: You’re smiling again.
Fact 10: You like this and you’re going to click the like button. :)

Crazy Jokes –  Funny truth!

When your mom says that she wants to ask you a serious question.crazy jokes 1
You immediately start thinking of all the wrong things that you have ever done in your past. 😉

Crazy Jokes – Why?

  • How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
  • Why are they called apartment, when they are all stuck together?
  • Do fish get cramps after eating?
  • How come abbreviated is such a long word?
  • Why are there 5 syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?
  • If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
  • How do “Keep off the grass” signs get where they are?
  • Why do ballet dancers always dance on their toes?
    Wouldn’t it be easier to just hire taller dancers?
  • Why do scientists call it “re”search when looking for something new?

Crazy Jokes – Reflecting On Your Changing Concerns!

Then: Long hair.
Now: Longing for hair.

Then: Keg.
Now: EKG.

Then: You’re growing pot.
Now: Your growing pot.

Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
Now: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.

Then: Getting out to a new , hip joint.
Now: Getting a new hip joint.

Crazy Jokes – Goodbye, Mother!!!crazy jokes

A young boy was walking through the supermarket to pick up some things when he noticed that an old lady was following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he just ignored her and continued on. Finally after he finished his selection, he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. “Pardon me son,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel really uncomfortable. It’s just that you look like my son, who just died recently.”

“I’m very sorry,” said the young man, “is there anything I can do for you?” “Yes,” she replied, “As I’m leaving, can you say ‘Good bye, Mother’? It would make me feel very much better.” “Sure,” answered the young man. And as the old woman was leaving, he called out, “Goodbye, Mother!” As the young man stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total amount was $127.50. “How can that be?” He asked, “I only purchased some few things!” “Your mother said that you would pay for her,” said the clerk.

Crazy Jokes – Clever Shit!!!

It’s funny how after an argument is over, you start to think about more clever shit you could have said.

Crazy Jokes – In Trouble

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

“You’ll get your chance in court,” said the Desk Sergeant.

“No, no, no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

Crazy Jokes – Top 5 Reasons It’s Great To Be A Guy

  1. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
  2. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
  3. You can right your name in the snow.
  4. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
  5. The remote is yours and yours only.

Funny Crazy Jokes

Funny Crazy Jokes – A fellow’s wife went missing and being that everyone knew that he and his wife were in a big fight he was accused of murdering her and disposing of the body. When witness after witness came to the stand testifying to all sorts of horrible threats that the accused threatened his wife and things were looking quite dim for the accused the man’s lawyer got up to the stand.crazy jokes 2

Funny Crazy Jokes – “Ladies and Gentleman of the jury I have something quite exciting to tell you, if you would all please direct your attention towards the door behind me on my left you will see the supposedly dead women walk in on her own two feet.”

Funny Crazy Jokes – There was a loud murmuring in the courtroom as all eyes turned towards the door. “Ladies and Gentleman” said the lawyer after a few seconds of anxious waiting, “To be honest with you, Nobody is going to be walking through the door, however from the fact that your eyes all turned towards the door it is quite obvious that you are not sure beyond the shadow of a doubt about my client’s guilt.”

Funny Crazy Jokes – Bob Smith was sick of his job and was determined to find work elsewhere. But no matter how hard he tried, his reputation as someone who was not dedicated to the job, seemed to follow him around. One day the phone rang at his office. Although Bob did not usually pick up the phone, he picked it up and said hello. “Hi” said the man on the line, “I have an unusual question to ask you, I’m looking into a fellow Bob Smith for a position in my company. Do you know this fellow?” “Sure I know him”, responded Bob with a smile. “Tell me,” asked the man. “Is he consistent with his work? Does he always show up on time?” “Well I’ll be honest with you” Bob truthfully replied, “I’m not so consistent myself, but whenever I’m here he’s here!”

Funny Crazy Jokes – Earlier today in court
Judge: State your name.
Me: Not Guilty
Judge: What?
Me: I had it legally changed.
Judge: You’re Not Guilty?
Me: *moonwalks outta there*

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