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I know 10 facts about you:
Fact 1: You are reading this.
Fact 2: You can’t say the letter ‘m’ without touching your lips.
Fact 3: You just tried it.
Fact 4: You’re smiling.
Fact 6: You’re smiling or laughing again.
Fact 7: You didn’t notice I missed fact 5.
Fact 8: You just checked it.
Fact 9: You’re smiling again.
Fact 10: You like this and you’re going to click the like button.
Crazy Jokes Top 5 Jokes
1. Funny truth!
When your mom says that she wants to ask you a serious question.
You immediately start thinking of all the wrong things that you have ever done in your past.
How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
Why are they called apartment, when they are all stuck together?
Do fish get cramps after eating?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
How do “Keep off the grass” signs get where they are?
Why do ballet dancers always dance on their toes?
Wouldn’t it be easier to just hire taller dancers?
Why do scientists call it “re”search when looking for something new?
3. Reflecting On Your Changing Concerns!
Then: Long hair.
Now: Longing for hair.
Then: You’re growing pot.
Now: Your growing pot.
Then: Getting out to a new , hip joint.
Now: Getting a new hip joint.
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Dad enters his son’s room and finds him fast asleep on his books, tired of exam studies.
He walks closer to him and plays with his hair gently and softly.
Slaps his face!!!!!!
“Last seen on whatsapp 1 minute ago”
5. Some Blonde Jokes
Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
Q: Why Do Blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They’re too hard too peel.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde’s been using a computer?
A: There’s white out on the screen.
Crazy Jokes Top 5 Craziest Jokes
1. Goodbye, Mother!!!
A young boy was walking through the supermarket to pick up some things when he noticed that an old lady was following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he just ignored her and continued on. Finally after he finished his selection, he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. “Pardon me son,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel really uncomfortable. It’s just that you look like my son, who just died recently.”
“I’m very sorry,” said the young man, “is there anything I can do for you?” “Yes,” she replied, “As I’m leaving, can you say ‘Good bye, Mother’? It would make me feel very much better.” “Sure,” answered the young man. And as the old woman was leaving, he called out, “Goodbye, Mother!” As the young man stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total amount was $127.50. “How can that be?” He asked, “I only purchased some few things!” “Your mother said that you would pay for her,” said the clerk.
2. Watch out!!!
There were two drunken men who were driving home. The first man started screaming: – Jim, watch out for that wall, watch out for the waaaaaaaall! Baaaaaaaam! They hit the wall. The very next day, in the hospital, the first man asked his friend: – You good for nothing, I have screamed for you to watch out for the wall, why didn’t you?
Jim answered him: – IT WAS YOU DRIVING!!!
3. Right Answer
Little Johnny walked into the house shortly before noon. “Johnny!” his mother cried, “what are you doing home from school so early?” “I got the right answer to the question.” Beaming with pride, his mother asked, ” question was that?” “Who put the thumbtack on Theresa’s chair
4. In Trouble
A blonde, brunette and a redhead ran to the top of a burning house. Below, a few firefighters are holding a blanket telling the redhead to jump. The redhead jumps and the firefighters snatches the blanket away and she hits the concrete. Than the firefighters ask the brunette to jump, she jumps and again the firefighters snatches the blanket away. When the firefighters ask the blonde to jump she replies, “I don’t trust you all, so just put the blanket down and back off.”
5. $40 Service
A dentist’s phone rang. The lady on the other end was very angry. “You charged $40 to take out my little boy’s tooth.” – she cried. “Isn’t it $10 anymore?” “Yes,” said the dentist, “but your son screamed so loud, he scared three patients out of my waiting room!”
Crazy Jokes Top Funny Jokes
1. Sink a Submarine
Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
A: You simply knock on the submarine’s door!!!
2. Problem Sleeping
An exhausted blond dragged herself in to the doctor’s office. “Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can’t get a wink of sleep.” “I have good news for you,” the doctor replied, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. “Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your troubles will be gone.” “Great,” the blond answered, “I’ll try anything. Let’s give it a try.” A few weeks later the blond returned, looking worse than ever. “Doc, your plan is no good. I’m more tired than before!” “I don’t understand how that could be”, said the doctor, shaking his head. “Those are the strongest pills on the market!” “That may be true,” answered the blond wearily, “but I’m still up all night chasing those dogs but when I finally catch one it’s really hard getting him to swallow the pill!”
3. Men’s Pick Up Line
4. 3 Restaurants
There were three restaurants on the same block. One day one of them put up a sign which said “The Best Restaurant in the City.”
The next day, the largest restaurant on the block put up a larger sign which said “The Best Restaurant in the World.”
On the third day, the smallest restaurant put up a small sign which said “The Best Restaurant on this Block.”
5. The Date
A college student picked up his date at her parents home. He’d scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant.
To his dismay, she ordered almost every thing expensive on the menu. Appetizer, lobster, champagne…the works. Finally he asked her, “Does your Mother feed you like this at home?”
“No.” she said, “but my Mother’s not looking to get laid, either
Top 5 Reasons It’s Great To Be A Guy
- A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
- You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
- You can right your name in the snow.
- You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
- The remote is yours and yours only.
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