Sore Throat, Aches & a Fever

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Patient: Doctor I have a sore throat, I ache, and have a fever.

Doctor: Sounds like some kind of virus.

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Patient: Everyone in the office has it.

Doctor: Well then, maybe it’s a staff infection.

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Booked Solid

Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment. “I’m sorry,” said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks.”

“But I could be dead by then!”

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“No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment.”

Spoon Swallower

Patient: Doctor, doctor I think I swallowed a spoon!

Doctor: Just sit patiently and try not to stir

It’s a Miracle!

A bent-over old lady hobbled into a doctor’s office.

Within minutes, she came out again but miraculously, she was standing up as straight as could be.

A man in the waiting room who had been watching her said in amazement; “My goodness, what did the doctor do to you?”

The old lady replied, “He gave […]

Doctor Problems

At an international medical conference, and American, a German and a Russian were discussing the shortcomings of their diagnoses.

The American said; “I can’t stand it sometimes, “We treat patients for cancer, and they die of AIDS.”

“I know what you mean,” said the German “We treat them for yellow fever; ant it turns out […]

Woops!

In the doctors office two patients are talking “You know, I had an appendectomy last month and the doctor left a sponge in me by mistake”

“A sponge!” exclaims the other “And do you feel much pain”

“No pain at all”, says the first, “but do I get thirsty!”

Genealogist

Visiting a genealogist, a man asked how much it would cost to have his family tree traced. “It could cost thousands of dollars,” said the woman.

“I see. Well, isn’t there an easier way? A less expensive way?” “Sure,” she replied. “Run for president.”

Yellow 24

A man goes to the doctors and asks why he’s been feeling ill. The doctor examines him and replies “I’m sorry to tell you, you’ve got the disease known as Yellow 24.” “What’s that?” the man asks. “It means your internal organs have started turning yellow – you’ve got 24 hours to live”.

The man […]

An Unemployed Engineer Tries Medicine

An Engineer was unemployed for long time. He could not find a job so he opened a medical clinic and puts a sign up outside: “Get your treatment for $500, if not treated get back $1,000.”

One Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic.

Doctor: “I have […]

Curious Stamp

A couple was making their first doctors visit prior to the birth of their first child. After the exam, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife’s stomach with indelible ink. The man and his wife were curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got home, the man took out […]