Now

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Little Johnny wasn’t very good at spelling. During an oral spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word “new” on the blackboard. “Now,” she asked Johnny, “what word would we have if we placed a “K” in the front?”

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After a moment’s reflection, Johnny said, “Canoe?”

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Counting Breakfast

At school one morning the teacher asked little Johnny what he had for breakfast.

Little Johnny said, “Well, on my way to school I come cross this Apple tree, so I climbed up there and started eating apples.”

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“I guess I eat about six,” said little Johnny. “No,” said the […]

Letter To God

Little Johnny wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.

Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to President Bush.

The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his […]

Football Practice

Little Johnny was at football practice one day and the coach said

“Who here thinks they can jump higher than the goal posts”

Immediately little Johnny said, “Ooh me sir me”

The coach then said, “But Johnny you are the worst in the team!”

Then Johnny said, “I know, but goalposts can’t jump!”

Good Cook

Teacher: Now, Little Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?

Little Johnny: No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook.

 

Baseball

Teacher: Class, you have 30 minutes to write a composition on the subject of

Baseball

Little Johnny: Here’s my paper

Teacher: Little Johnny, you spent only one minute writing your essay

Lets hear what you wrote

Little Johnny: Game called off on account of rain

ATE

At school one morning the teacher asked little Johnny what he had for breakfast. Little Johnny said, well, on my way to school I come cross this Apple tree, so I climbed up there and started eating apples. I guess I eat about six, said little Johnny. No, said the teacher, it’s ate! Little Johnny […]

Tampax

His pediatrician asked six-year-old Johnny, who watched a good many TV, adds, just to make conversation. Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and had to spend them, what would you buy?”

“A box of Tampax,” he replied without hesitation.

“Tampax?” said the doctor. “What would you do with that?”

“Well,” said Johnny, “I […]

Right answer

Little Johnny walked into the house shortly before noon.

“Johnny!” his mother cried, “what are you doing home from school so early?”

“I got the right answer to the question.” Beaming with pride, his mother asked, ” question was that?”

“Who put the thumbtack on Theresa’s chair

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Sentence

Little Johnny’s teacher asks him to make a sentence using the following words: defeat, deduct, defense and detail.

Little Johnny says, “De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail.”

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